Open Letter to Traci Sleeman

Statement 1: My Absence Was My Choice and I Abandoned My Children

What the children were told or led to believe
That I chose not to see them and voluntarily stepped away from their lives.

The factual record
Following our final separation, I relocated to Chicago. During that period, I repeatedly traveled back for scheduled visitations. On numerous occasions, despite advance notice and confirmed plans, the child(ren) were not made available to me.

After these denials continued, I filed motions with the Friend of the Court seeking enforcement of visitation and reimbursement for repeated, unsuccessful travel. Court involvement followed, and multiple orders were issued affirming my right to contact and visitation.

Despite those orders, access to the children continued to be denied. I was required to seek repeated court intervention to obtain basic information, photographs, and compliance with court-ordered parenting time and telephone contact. On multiple occasions, I contacted authorities in an effort to enforce existing court orders that were not being honored.

At no point did I choose to abandon my children or decline contact. My absence was the result of sustained interference, not voluntary disengagement.

Documentation supporting these events exists in contemporaneous correspondence, archived court records (including court transcripts), and law-enforcement reports. Copies of these materials are in my possession and preserved.

Impact on the children
They were led to believe that my absence was my choice. This distorted their understanding of who I was as a parent, undermined trust, and made the formation of any relationship impossible. That narrative followed them into adulthood, long after the opportunity to correct it had passed.

Statement 2: Responsibility for the End of the Relationship

What the children were told or led to believe
I do not know precisely what the children were told about why the relationship ended. However, the resulting narrative required that responsibility for its failure be placed on me, either explicitly or through omission.

The factual record
The relationship did not end because I withdrew, abandoned the family, or engaged in infidelity. During the course of the relationship, there were repeated breaches of fidelity on her part while we were married. I did not engage in infidelity. Those breaches, combined with fundamental incompatibility and the absence of meaningful communication and mutual respect, ultimately led to the end of the relationship, which spanned approximately three years, with intermittent periods of separation.

Impact on the children
By omitting this context and assigning responsibility to me, a false explanation for the end of the relationship took hold. That explanation later became part of the justification for excluding me from the children’s lives and portraying my absence as deserved or self-inflicted.

Statement 3: False Allegations of Physical Abuse

What the children were told or led to believe
They were led to believe that I was physically abusive toward their mother, and that this was a defining feature of who I was.

The factual record
I categorically deny these allegations. I did not physically abuse her, nor did I ever slap, strike, kick, or assault her.

There was one incident in November 1996 in which physical contact occurred when I attempted to restrain her from assaulting me during a volatile confrontation. That incident has since been misrepresented as abuse, despite the broader context.

During the course of the relationship, I was subjected to repeated verbal and emotional mistreatment, including two incidents of physical contact by her, both of which led me to contact law enforcement.

Impact on the children
Being led to believe that I was abusive fundamentally altered how the children viewed me. Once a parent is framed as dangerous or violent, trust cannot form. That perception alone was sufficient to prevent any relationship from ever taking shape.

Statement 4: That I Did Not Pay or Chose Not to Pay Child Support

What the children were told or led to believe
That I chose not to pay child support, or that I failed to meet my financial responsibilities to them.

The factual record
I did not refuse to pay child support. At all times when I was properly notified of court-ordered obligations, I complied with those orders, including financial support and healthcare responsibilities.

During extended periods, child support was assessed based on income levels I was not earning at the time. I was not notified of certain assessments until years later. Once those matters were brought to my attention through proper notice, I acted to address them within the legal process.

Over the course of the case, substantial sums were paid in child support, along with additional financial obligations beyond base support. At no point did I willfully withhold support or attempt to evade responsibility.

Court records and payment histories document compliance with child support orders once they were properly communicated. I paid child support even when my parental rights and access to my children were being denied.

Impact on the children
The suggestion that I refused to support them financially reinforced the broader narrative of abandonment and neglect. This further distorted their understanding of my role and intentions, and strengthened the belief that my absence was the result of indifference rather than exclusion.

Statement 5: False Statements Repeated by Family Members

What the children were told or led to believe
The children were exposed to the same explanations for my absence through repeated statements made by members of her family. These statements were presented as established fact, reinforcing the narrative they had already been given, including the implication that my absence was necessary because I was unsafe or abusive.

The factual record
False statements regarding my absence, character, and conduct — including explicit or implied allegations of abuse — were repeated by members of her family and others close to the children. In at least one instance, her son Logan made false claims, lending additional credibility to a narrative that was untrue.

Whether originating with her or repeated by others, the effect was the same: allegations and inferences that I was abusive were reinforced through repetition by multiple trusted adults. This amplification gave those false claims added credibility and permanence, leaving no alternative explanation available to the children.

Impact on the children
Hearing the same false narrative, including allegations or implications of abuse, repeated by multiple trusted adults cemented it as truth in the children’s minds. This distorted their understanding of who I was and why I was absent, undermined any possibility of trust, and ensured that a relationship with me could not form.